I know sometimes a problem seems to take on a life of it’s own whispering into our ears. If something is worrisome, shrink the problem to nothingness by commanding your mind to focus on the good in your life and not a perception of desperation. We waste so much time and energy on useless worry and fear. Time is fleeting if you haven't noticed.:) 99% of all we worry about never comes to being. Let it go.
There is unlimited abundant energy and you direct whether it be positive or negative. Refuse to be negative and re-affirm “I am getting better.” No matter how you feel at the time, whether you believe it or not, your positive affirmation makes the the statement true.
As you speak the words the body responds with positive energy growing and healing. You will create brain cell impressions that re-enforce your words. Be grateful for a possible joy that may not be known yet to you. Renew your mind, your heart and every fiber of your body.
We become “compelled” and then “consumed”. Compel yourself to seek peace and healing; be consumed by those things. Only allow yourself to be compelled and consumed by thoughts that will aid your peace and healing process.
CLEAR: "Free from anything that dims or darkens; bright; unclouded.
Without impurity or blemish. Free from obstructions or hindrances.
Able to discern; quick and orderly; free from uncertainty; free from guilt;
without roughness, serene. To remove; to disentangle; to become free."
Be Clear!
Believe it or not, I used to flip people off and say "p--s on you" when I got upset.
It upset me further. These days I add another finger making the peace sign and simply say "peace on you."
It's been grate. Nasty people will be nasty no matter what. I won't change for them. I just bless them and think "they must not be happy". I ALWAYS feel better in the long run!
Don’t give away your power. Help others but refuse to be stripped of your energy and your joy. Share, don’t give it away.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
You have JUST these moments!
Use them wisely. Take a breath. Stretch. Think of whatever blessings you have....just waking up in the morning to have another chance at life is a grate
blessing to me. Choose your path wisely, and your words, and CREATE a wonderful day
for yourself!
blessing to me. Choose your path wisely, and your words, and CREATE a wonderful day
for yourself!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
More on walking......
I wasn't kidding about walking and the benefits you can get from even just a short walk. Some of the perks I didn't speak about are such things as seeing new bright green leaves on the trees, a vast array of colors and flowers bursting on the scene, spring fragrances permeating the air, and so much more.
If you are close to water you may see Canadian geese strutting around or gliding in the water. The males loudly protesting your presence, while the females tend to the little ones. The sound of the birds singing to us and each other is so varied and lovely, and the variety of birds flying from tree to tree is unbelievable.
All these things will add to your bundle of "stress management and relaxation techniques." What wonderful ways to distract yourself from problems for a few moments.Take the dog for a walk. Find a bench and sit for a while. Pet the dog and you will enjoy the sights and sounds, and relax from just his companionship. It's been proven petting an animal is a stress management technique!
If you are not so fortunate as to have these things available for you to enjoy, I
hope you will read and then close your eyes and visualize them. Take in a breath
and imagine the sounds and smells of spring in my corner of the world.
I practice what I preach, so yesterday I took a walk in a nearby area designated for just that. There are several different walks. I chose one that was only one and three quarters mile, but it was perfect for the day and the time I could allot.
I saw so many of the things I spoke of above, and more.....wildflowers cascading down hillsides and tall grass blowing like velvet in the breeze. I was grateful for the time to slow down a bit (and knew I was helping the body I live in too!).
I think the most precious thing I saw yesterday is reflected in the photo I posted with this writing. I heard voices and came up behind a small child and a gray haired gentleman with suspenders. I couldn't resist taking the photo. After all, it is beautiful sight to see the joining of hands between two humans.
I moved in front of them and introduced myself and asked who the young gentleman was.
He was, indeed, the grandson. "I'm almost four" he said. Grandpa was closer to somewhere in his sixties.
The child had sunglasses on and was very enthusiastic about the walk. The grandpa was taking smaller steps, and his time. It was a lovely sight and made my heart feel great. Take advantage of the time with your young ones, they grow up faster than you think!
As I moved a head I heard in the background, "Grandpa, can I ride on your shoulders?"
I smiled and thought how glad I was I had chosen to walk today!
MAKE the time to take a walk, help your body and mind, and see what you discover along the way!
If you are close to water you may see Canadian geese strutting around or gliding in the water. The males loudly protesting your presence, while the females tend to the little ones. The sound of the birds singing to us and each other is so varied and lovely, and the variety of birds flying from tree to tree is unbelievable.
All these things will add to your bundle of "stress management and relaxation techniques." What wonderful ways to distract yourself from problems for a few moments.Take the dog for a walk. Find a bench and sit for a while. Pet the dog and you will enjoy the sights and sounds, and relax from just his companionship. It's been proven petting an animal is a stress management technique!
If you are not so fortunate as to have these things available for you to enjoy, I
hope you will read and then close your eyes and visualize them. Take in a breath
and imagine the sounds and smells of spring in my corner of the world.
I practice what I preach, so yesterday I took a walk in a nearby area designated for just that. There are several different walks. I chose one that was only one and three quarters mile, but it was perfect for the day and the time I could allot.
I saw so many of the things I spoke of above, and more.....wildflowers cascading down hillsides and tall grass blowing like velvet in the breeze. I was grateful for the time to slow down a bit (and knew I was helping the body I live in too!).
I think the most precious thing I saw yesterday is reflected in the photo I posted with this writing. I heard voices and came up behind a small child and a gray haired gentleman with suspenders. I couldn't resist taking the photo. After all, it is beautiful sight to see the joining of hands between two humans.
I moved in front of them and introduced myself and asked who the young gentleman was.
He was, indeed, the grandson. "I'm almost four" he said. Grandpa was closer to somewhere in his sixties.
The child had sunglasses on and was very enthusiastic about the walk. The grandpa was taking smaller steps, and his time. It was a lovely sight and made my heart feel great. Take advantage of the time with your young ones, they grow up faster than you think!
As I moved a head I heard in the background, "Grandpa, can I ride on your shoulders?"
I smiled and thought how glad I was I had chosen to walk today!
MAKE the time to take a walk, help your body and mind, and see what you discover along the way!
Monday, April 23, 2007
IF YOU ARE LONELY, DEPRESSED, OR IN PAIN.....
.......and you can - WALK! Do it! Here's the deal. You don't have to be a marathon walker. You don't have do anything special. Just walk and swing your arms a bit with some "mustered up" enthusiasm.
This is why. This is how your body works whether you know it or not, whether you like it or not. It is just the physiology (the way in which a living organism, or body parts function)of the body we live in.
When you walk you pump up the oxygen in this oxygen machine. This is good. When we are lonely, depressed, or in pain, somehow we seem to use our oxygen less. We may slump over, or cringe in pain, whatever the reason - it has been proven we breathe less!
As we walk we take in more oxygen and our entire body becomes better immediately.
We are receiving oxygen to think optimally, more oxygen to go to injured areas to help the healing, to let the organs, muscles, ligaments, tendons, etc. get the oxygen they so need.
Also, and here is a GIANT plus: When we walk we create endorphins (they are peptides that activate the body's opiate receptors), and they help with pain! It is a pharmacy from within you creating opium and morphine like pain medication for you.
Have you ever heard of a "runner's high"? You don't have to run to have that happen.
It's those feel good feeling we all so desire. All you have to do is walk. The body
creates the positive endorphins that actually make you happier!
Even if you think this is hogwash - I promise, it isn't. Give it a try. Also try to use your intellect by NOT crowding out the true goodness to come with negative thoughts.
"Oh, this won't work", and so forth. It will work. Use that intellect and help the process along by thinking "I am doing the right thing for my body and this will work." You will also create positive brain cells! YES YOU WILL!
I want you not to be lonely, depressed, or in pain. Use the brain and body magic by walking and be consistent. You consistently shop/work/clean/etc. Consistently walk each day - even 10 minutes will help!
This is the only body you have to live in, so give it the care you would give to others -or even your car! Magic WILL HAPPEN!
Have a wonderful day and now GET UP AND GO TAKE A SHORT WALK. Even if it's just around the house....I've done that many times and then returned to my desk feeling better and knowing I've done something important for me!
YOU ARE WORTH IT. Besides, if you don't take care of you, NO ONE WILL!
This is why. This is how your body works whether you know it or not, whether you like it or not. It is just the physiology (the way in which a living organism, or body parts function)of the body we live in.
When you walk you pump up the oxygen in this oxygen machine. This is good. When we are lonely, depressed, or in pain, somehow we seem to use our oxygen less. We may slump over, or cringe in pain, whatever the reason - it has been proven we breathe less!
As we walk we take in more oxygen and our entire body becomes better immediately.
We are receiving oxygen to think optimally, more oxygen to go to injured areas to help the healing, to let the organs, muscles, ligaments, tendons, etc. get the oxygen they so need.
Also, and here is a GIANT plus: When we walk we create endorphins (they are peptides that activate the body's opiate receptors), and they help with pain! It is a pharmacy from within you creating opium and morphine like pain medication for you.
Have you ever heard of a "runner's high"? You don't have to run to have that happen.
It's those feel good feeling we all so desire. All you have to do is walk. The body
creates the positive endorphins that actually make you happier!
Even if you think this is hogwash - I promise, it isn't. Give it a try. Also try to use your intellect by NOT crowding out the true goodness to come with negative thoughts.
"Oh, this won't work", and so forth. It will work. Use that intellect and help the process along by thinking "I am doing the right thing for my body and this will work." You will also create positive brain cells! YES YOU WILL!
I want you not to be lonely, depressed, or in pain. Use the brain and body magic by walking and be consistent. You consistently shop/work/clean/etc. Consistently walk each day - even 10 minutes will help!
This is the only body you have to live in, so give it the care you would give to others -or even your car! Magic WILL HAPPEN!
Have a wonderful day and now GET UP AND GO TAKE A SHORT WALK. Even if it's just around the house....I've done that many times and then returned to my desk feeling better and knowing I've done something important for me!
YOU ARE WORTH IT. Besides, if you don't take care of you, NO ONE WILL!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Earth Day
Every day should be an earth day. We have only one body to live in (that's why I teach health and fitness, and preventative things to do to stay healthy!) - body, mind and spirit.
We also only have one planet to reside upon - our beloved earth. It is still, with all our destruction and trashing of it, a wonderful place to live. We can still save our planet if we just are mindful of our own actions.
If I "allowed" myself to stress about things I would say I tire of the shows and articles suggesting what WE can do to help. Certainly we can do much. It would be helpful if the manufacturers of plastic grocery sacks, plastic containers, autos, wood structures, etc. would slow down the number of these things put on the market.
Alas, the almighty dollar calls. If only a majority would help. There are some who do, and for that I am ever grateful.
What we can do is honor the place we live by NOT trashing it. We went for a walk last evening and right along side the gutter was a dirty diaper. We saw two empty pop cans on the sidewalk. A number of other things lay on the lawns, sidewalks and street.
How difficult is it to carry your trash to your car, your home, or to find a container! It's small things like that that add up. We are riding our bikes more,
and trying to drive less. We are unplugging things at night, and using our recycle bin.
Please just remember we have no where else to live.....our own body, and our planet.
Just a baby step for each of us will help. Don't forget for those of us that live
in America, we are blessed with abundance - we need to give back for all we have.
Let's do as a recent movie suggested and "pay it forward" by caring for our own home - planet earth.
We also only have one planet to reside upon - our beloved earth. It is still, with all our destruction and trashing of it, a wonderful place to live. We can still save our planet if we just are mindful of our own actions.
If I "allowed" myself to stress about things I would say I tire of the shows and articles suggesting what WE can do to help. Certainly we can do much. It would be helpful if the manufacturers of plastic grocery sacks, plastic containers, autos, wood structures, etc. would slow down the number of these things put on the market.
Alas, the almighty dollar calls. If only a majority would help. There are some who do, and for that I am ever grateful.
What we can do is honor the place we live by NOT trashing it. We went for a walk last evening and right along side the gutter was a dirty diaper. We saw two empty pop cans on the sidewalk. A number of other things lay on the lawns, sidewalks and street.
How difficult is it to carry your trash to your car, your home, or to find a container! It's small things like that that add up. We are riding our bikes more,
and trying to drive less. We are unplugging things at night, and using our recycle bin.
Please just remember we have no where else to live.....our own body, and our planet.
Just a baby step for each of us will help. Don't forget for those of us that live
in America, we are blessed with abundance - we need to give back for all we have.
Let's do as a recent movie suggested and "pay it forward" by caring for our own home - planet earth.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Mirror, Mirror, on the wall....
I used to think mirrors were thought of by some evil force to torture us
as we age. Have you ever gotten up in the morning and had an abrupt experience
as you passed a mirror? Have you ever felt terrific and walked by a mirror only to
notice you have a huge blemish? Or that you look 20 years older than you feel?
I surely have, at least on one occasion!
Recently I read an article by Ardath Rodale, author of such books as Reflections and Gifts of the Spirit, andis Chairman of the Board of Rodale Inc. She gave me new insight on mirrors and because it is valuable, I would like to share it with you.
Often when I’ve looked into a mirror I not liked, nor appreciated what I’ve
seen. Sometimes I’ve even cringed and made faces at myself to show my own private disapproval.
Ardath reminded me we take our mirrors for granted. We often glance at our reflection, or critique it, be do we ever really see “ourselves"?
I think this was a great eye opener for me. Now when I look in the mirror I am “in training”. I am creating new brain cell impressions that appreciate seeing the human body that still works wonders for me.
I look in the mirror in the morning and smile at myself, knowing that smiling feels better, and creates less wrinkles than frowning!
I talk to myself. “Oh I am glad you still have another day to do the best that you can.” “I am glad to be me as I’ve had so many good experiences and there are more to come.”
“Look you, don’t be so critical of yourself. Pick out your good points and ponder on them - like you would do for others.”
It has totally changed my prospective on mirrors. I don’t worry so much about my looks as realize that the look on my face can change my heart and own feelings - and those of others. A smile is worth a million dollars - even if it’s YOU smiling back at you!
Try it. You’ll learn to love it!
as we age. Have you ever gotten up in the morning and had an abrupt experience
as you passed a mirror? Have you ever felt terrific and walked by a mirror only to
notice you have a huge blemish? Or that you look 20 years older than you feel?
I surely have, at least on one occasion!
Recently I read an article by Ardath Rodale, author of such books as Reflections and Gifts of the Spirit, andis Chairman of the Board of Rodale Inc. She gave me new insight on mirrors and because it is valuable, I would like to share it with you.
Often when I’ve looked into a mirror I not liked, nor appreciated what I’ve
seen. Sometimes I’ve even cringed and made faces at myself to show my own private disapproval.
Ardath reminded me we take our mirrors for granted. We often glance at our reflection, or critique it, be do we ever really see “ourselves"?
I think this was a great eye opener for me. Now when I look in the mirror I am “in training”. I am creating new brain cell impressions that appreciate seeing the human body that still works wonders for me.
I look in the mirror in the morning and smile at myself, knowing that smiling feels better, and creates less wrinkles than frowning!
I talk to myself. “Oh I am glad you still have another day to do the best that you can.” “I am glad to be me as I’ve had so many good experiences and there are more to come.”
“Look you, don’t be so critical of yourself. Pick out your good points and ponder on them - like you would do for others.”
It has totally changed my prospective on mirrors. I don’t worry so much about my looks as realize that the look on my face can change my heart and own feelings - and those of others. A smile is worth a million dollars - even if it’s YOU smiling back at you!
Try it. You’ll learn to love it!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Two minutes to refresh and regenerate yourself
Whatever you are doing - stop now - just for a minute or two. Sit up straight. Hold your tummy in and push your low back into the chair. Pull your head out from your shoulders and think of separating the bones in the neck and spine.
Now inhale through the nose. Make it a slow and deep inhalation. Now exhale through the mouth in the same manner.
As you are mindful of your breathing, stretch your hands in front of you, clasping them together as if you are pushing something away, and stretch your arms forward. Now push them upward and stretch towards the ceiling.
Put your arms down. Relax and take a breath. Exhale. Push yourself away from the desk just a bit and press your toes forward. Now press your heels away from you. This move
will activate your blood flow to move upward. Point the toes - now press the hells and take a breath. Exhale.
Roll each ankle in a few circles. Now change direction and roll them again.
Stretch your fingers out. Make them into a tight fist. Do it again.
Now roll the wrists and reverse the circles like you did the ankles. Shake the hands.
Stand. Get a drink of water. Congratulate yourself. Your body and mind will appreciate this mini work out, and you will continue with your work refreshed and ready to go!
Now inhale through the nose. Make it a slow and deep inhalation. Now exhale through the mouth in the same manner.
As you are mindful of your breathing, stretch your hands in front of you, clasping them together as if you are pushing something away, and stretch your arms forward. Now push them upward and stretch towards the ceiling.
Put your arms down. Relax and take a breath. Exhale. Push yourself away from the desk just a bit and press your toes forward. Now press your heels away from you. This move
will activate your blood flow to move upward. Point the toes - now press the hells and take a breath. Exhale.
Roll each ankle in a few circles. Now change direction and roll them again.
Stretch your fingers out. Make them into a tight fist. Do it again.
Now roll the wrists and reverse the circles like you did the ankles. Shake the hands.
Stand. Get a drink of water. Congratulate yourself. Your body and mind will appreciate this mini work out, and you will continue with your work refreshed and ready to go!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I am sorry but....
the media sucks. The one thing I love about the internet is people talking to people. Yes, there is BS everywhere, but I believe lots of real information is passed along.
I must say: When it's over, it's over! Acceptance. The media likes to turn every move into a story. They like to sensationalize
every aspect of horror. Excuse me.
For me, the most advantageous technique for living life, has been learning acceptance.
We haven't control over the majority of what actually happens in our lives. That is simply the way it is. We like to think we are controlling our lives, but that just isn't realistic. Anything
can happen from one moment to the next!
STOP! We must stop it, if they won't. Agreed?
We are curious. We want to know what has happenened; why this human
went crazy and caused such horror. But READING, WATCHING, LISTENING to the same story repeated over and over (excuse me) CRAP - does not resolve anything.
1. Acceptance: we must accept this has happened. It is a shock. It is horrible. Watching the same images, listening to the same "few" that report it - NOT PRODUCTIVE.
As an example: I am a mother in Tacoma, Washington. I become so engrossed with this incident that I feel it is over - "I
can never send my child to school without fear." WRONG. NARROW. Not accepting that in this life, we have only limited control over what happens!
WHEN MY CHILDREN LEFT HOME - I was devastated. (They didn't know it). I was fearful they were in the wrong place, in the wrong group of people, YOU KNOW. I had to trust that they had the "stuff" inside to survive. Mama told me, "At this point honey, you have to trust God, and trust your children." I did. I could do nothing else.
WE HAVE TO ACCEPT what IS. Otherwise we are living a life of delusion. It is what is it!
Sad, terrible, useless, pointless, horrible - agreed. But NOW we have to move forward. It is the ONLY CHOICE.
I must say: When it's over, it's over! Acceptance. The media likes to turn every move into a story. They like to sensationalize
every aspect of horror. Excuse me.
For me, the most advantageous technique for living life, has been learning acceptance.
We haven't control over the majority of what actually happens in our lives. That is simply the way it is. We like to think we are controlling our lives, but that just isn't realistic. Anything
can happen from one moment to the next!
STOP! We must stop it, if they won't. Agreed?
We are curious. We want to know what has happenened; why this human
went crazy and caused such horror. But READING, WATCHING, LISTENING to the same story repeated over and over (excuse me) CRAP - does not resolve anything.
1. Acceptance: we must accept this has happened. It is a shock. It is horrible. Watching the same images, listening to the same "few" that report it - NOT PRODUCTIVE.
As an example: I am a mother in Tacoma, Washington. I become so engrossed with this incident that I feel it is over - "I
can never send my child to school without fear." WRONG. NARROW. Not accepting that in this life, we have only limited control over what happens!
WHEN MY CHILDREN LEFT HOME - I was devastated. (They didn't know it). I was fearful they were in the wrong place, in the wrong group of people, YOU KNOW. I had to trust that they had the "stuff" inside to survive. Mama told me, "At this point honey, you have to trust God, and trust your children." I did. I could do nothing else.
WE HAVE TO ACCEPT what IS. Otherwise we are living a life of delusion. It is what is it!
Sad, terrible, useless, pointless, horrible - agreed. But NOW we have to move forward. It is the ONLY CHOICE.
Monday, April 16, 2007
When Horror and tragedy must be faced
There is nothing I can think of worse than the loss of a child. The loss of these children today at Virginia Tech is a tragedy that none of us ever expected. It is ALWAYS tragic to loose a child, but when it is by such useless violence, it becomes almost impossible to comprehend.
There is no recovery from this type of stress immediately. The grieving parents, friends and families will be in shock for days to come, and probably sleepless for weeks. Grieving takes time.
There are 5 stages of grief and everyone must, it seems, go through at least some of them. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I will not expound on them, but there are many websites to check out if your are interested. I found one that is very good: http://davidkessler.org/html/qa_grief.html#6. It explains, step by step, what to expect in times of grief.
What I would like to share is not for those grieving, as probably not a single one of those persons will get anywhere near a computer to "learn" techniques at this point. I want to share some thoughts for those of you who may be able to help those in grief - friends, co-workers, neighbors, church members, acquaintances, just anyone at large in the community that might want to be able to touch and help the heart of one who is suffering now.
It has been my experience that even strangers from a far can help by praying for those involved, and those who's spirits have been elevated from this earth. Pray for the God you believe in, whatever the name may be, to help these who remain and are suffering. Prayer changes things, though, alas, it cannot mend what has been torn here and now.
Let people know that you would be willing to step in to cook a meal or two, or cook for the gathering of family that will occur. Try to relieve some task that may need doing, but will be neglected for now. Ask if you can babysit the small children for the family, ask what you can do to help. Don't be shy.
You may find someone breaking into tears and desperately needing just a hug. We all live in this world. We are a family of humans and tragedy has happened again. Beef up your courage
and make a step towards giving love, your energy, whatever may be needed at this time.
Take a breath, say a prayer, hold someone's hand. Love one another and help the healing to begin with your love.
There is no recovery from this type of stress immediately. The grieving parents, friends and families will be in shock for days to come, and probably sleepless for weeks. Grieving takes time.
There are 5 stages of grief and everyone must, it seems, go through at least some of them. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I will not expound on them, but there are many websites to check out if your are interested. I found one that is very good: http://davidkessler.org/html/qa_grief.html#6. It explains, step by step, what to expect in times of grief.
What I would like to share is not for those grieving, as probably not a single one of those persons will get anywhere near a computer to "learn" techniques at this point. I want to share some thoughts for those of you who may be able to help those in grief - friends, co-workers, neighbors, church members, acquaintances, just anyone at large in the community that might want to be able to touch and help the heart of one who is suffering now.
It has been my experience that even strangers from a far can help by praying for those involved, and those who's spirits have been elevated from this earth. Pray for the God you believe in, whatever the name may be, to help these who remain and are suffering. Prayer changes things, though, alas, it cannot mend what has been torn here and now.
Let people know that you would be willing to step in to cook a meal or two, or cook for the gathering of family that will occur. Try to relieve some task that may need doing, but will be neglected for now. Ask if you can babysit the small children for the family, ask what you can do to help. Don't be shy.
You may find someone breaking into tears and desperately needing just a hug. We all live in this world. We are a family of humans and tragedy has happened again. Beef up your courage
and make a step towards giving love, your energy, whatever may be needed at this time.
Take a breath, say a prayer, hold someone's hand. Love one another and help the healing to begin with your love.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Animal Rescue and knowledge gained!
I went to an animal rescue group to see some of the wild animals rescued. There were many, and folks volunteered to care for them until they could return to the wild - or some, unable to return, were adopted.
I always thought I hated scavenger birds - vultures. I thought they were awful. It was a stress I held within when I saw them. "Horrible birds", I thought.
This gathering changed my mind. I was harboring feels of unrest about the birds every time I saw them, UNTIL I actually learned about them!
The vulture in the photo was rescued 5 years ago and the couple in the photo adopted him then. He actually is friendly, affectionate, and has been a wonderful pet for the couple. I learned that the holes in his nose are to smell for food. They are the only bird that has that sense-the sense of smell. They smell the dead, and that is their only food. They aren't hunters and would die without that sense. They also eat diseased carcasses.
After spending time talking with the couple, and actually seeing the bird close up, I realized that it was only because I didn't know WHY the bird ate the dead that I was pent up about the emotion I felt about them. That stressor is gone and I now have appreciation for the birds.
I always thought I hated scavenger birds - vultures. I thought they were awful. It was a stress I held within when I saw them. "Horrible birds", I thought.
This gathering changed my mind. I was harboring feels of unrest about the birds every time I saw them, UNTIL I actually learned about them!
The vulture in the photo was rescued 5 years ago and the couple in the photo adopted him then. He actually is friendly, affectionate, and has been a wonderful pet for the couple. I learned that the holes in his nose are to smell for food. They are the only bird that has that sense-the sense of smell. They smell the dead, and that is their only food. They aren't hunters and would die without that sense. They also eat diseased carcasses.
After spending time talking with the couple, and actually seeing the bird close up, I realized that it was only because I didn't know WHY the bird ate the dead that I was pent up about the emotion I felt about them. That stressor is gone and I now have appreciation for the birds.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Communication is the key to Peace!
These are things I’ve learned over the years about communicating with other “human kind”. Since we are all able to use verbal communication, it is important we follow some basic rules that are usually learned through the trial and error method. Hopefully these thoughts will be of value in your life (whether communicating with male or female, some principles are unisex and invaluable, in maintaining healthy relationships. Poor communication skills can raise your stress level dangerously high.
1. Honesty is premium. Without honest communication we are doomed to disaster. Many times you’ll hear people say, “Oh, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings”, or “he just couldn’t handle the truth”. Truth is far less damaging than lies. Sometimes the “delivery” might need to be handled delicately, with a positive tone, but in the long run - truth will always win out as the optimum choice as surely as the sun rises each morning.
2. Never assume, when a comment is initially made, that you actually know what the person meant. Sometimes it will be obvious, but consider the fact that painful communication and relationship scars in all of us will often color or alter the meaning of what a person may say - to you! If you feel uncomfortable or need clarification, simply ask. “I may be “I may be misunderstanding what you are saying, could you clarify for me?” Think of how many times an argument has occurred because of such misunderstandings. Never assume!
3. Listen until the other person has completed a thought. Don’t immediately start thinking about your response. You cannot hear what
the person is saying if you don’t give your full attention. This rule applies any time. It is the intelligent person that listens. It is the person who truly cares and wants to have understanding that listens.
4. If you have a complaint, state what you observed or feel. State it objectively; don’t generalize and don’t exaggerate. Use your intellect as opposed to your emotion, and be concise about the comment of complaint.
5. If the matter has been satisfactorily resolved, do not keep bringing it up. In my experience, men are able to forget a situation quickly, and women seem to dwell on it, review it, and suffer from it for a very long time. When a matter is done, drop it. That is then, this is now. We live in the “nows” and not the” thens”.
6. Listen for the thought that is actually being expressed, and often more importantly, for the feeling that is being expressed. Be in tune and sensitive to others feelings, and not strictly their words. Women have a tendency to hear ALL words that are spoken, and ingest them over and over again. Men are more flagrant with their words, not oftentimes realizing that words can cut like a sharp knife. Those wounds (particularly-but not singularly, as men can be hurt too) often take years to heal.
7. Acknowledge that the other person (the speaker) has a right to his or her feelings simply because the feelings exist - no matter what the reasoning behind them. Nothing constructive will ever be accomplished unless the listener can accept the other person’s feeling as VALID for the other person.
8. Restate the content of what the other person has expressed. Do not state it in an accusing or negative manner, but simply emphatic about understanding.
9. State “feelings” in regard to what you observed that made you feel a complaint was necessary. Be sure not to confuse feelings with opinions .
Feelings can be motivated by emotion and not intellect. Stand back and objectively review these things.
10. Take responsibility for your feelings. Don’t say, “you made me angry”.
Say, “I got angry” or I am angry.” If you FEEL something - take the responsibility and don’t lay blame on someone else.
11. Before you speak or respond, take a breath (your brain needs 50% more oxygen to serve you optimally). You will also give yourself a moment to calm down, and the oxygen to help you do so. Empower yourself by breathing. When we are excited we often hold our breath. We cut off our own oxygen supply, inhibiting our calm and intellectual reaction to a situation. Do not let your emotions be in charge. We have been given brains to think. Use your intellect and discuss all points of the conversation or conflict.
12. Reminder: Keep it brief, kind and honest. Verbal communication is the way we project love, hate, joy, sadness, and so other emotions. Without it we can't RELATE to one another.
I truly believe my husband and I have kept our marriage as lovers and best friends for 19 years because we have ALWAYS kept the communication open between us, and never belittled what the other is thinking. We discuss things (we don't ALWAYS agree) - but we are honest and don't hold it inside to ultimately implode.
Remember that a lack of good communication can cause breakups, divorces, and wars!
Take a breath, think before you speak and listen with sincerity.
1. Honesty is premium. Without honest communication we are doomed to disaster. Many times you’ll hear people say, “Oh, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings”, or “he just couldn’t handle the truth”. Truth is far less damaging than lies. Sometimes the “delivery” might need to be handled delicately, with a positive tone, but in the long run - truth will always win out as the optimum choice as surely as the sun rises each morning.
2. Never assume, when a comment is initially made, that you actually know what the person meant. Sometimes it will be obvious, but consider the fact that painful communication and relationship scars in all of us will often color or alter the meaning of what a person may say - to you! If you feel uncomfortable or need clarification, simply ask. “I may be “I may be misunderstanding what you are saying, could you clarify for me?” Think of how many times an argument has occurred because of such misunderstandings. Never assume!
3. Listen until the other person has completed a thought. Don’t immediately start thinking about your response. You cannot hear what
the person is saying if you don’t give your full attention. This rule applies any time. It is the intelligent person that listens. It is the person who truly cares and wants to have understanding that listens.
4. If you have a complaint, state what you observed or feel. State it objectively; don’t generalize and don’t exaggerate. Use your intellect as opposed to your emotion, and be concise about the comment of complaint.
5. If the matter has been satisfactorily resolved, do not keep bringing it up. In my experience, men are able to forget a situation quickly, and women seem to dwell on it, review it, and suffer from it for a very long time. When a matter is done, drop it. That is then, this is now. We live in the “nows” and not the” thens”.
6. Listen for the thought that is actually being expressed, and often more importantly, for the feeling that is being expressed. Be in tune and sensitive to others feelings, and not strictly their words. Women have a tendency to hear ALL words that are spoken, and ingest them over and over again. Men are more flagrant with their words, not oftentimes realizing that words can cut like a sharp knife. Those wounds (particularly-but not singularly, as men can be hurt too) often take years to heal.
7. Acknowledge that the other person (the speaker) has a right to his or her feelings simply because the feelings exist - no matter what the reasoning behind them. Nothing constructive will ever be accomplished unless the listener can accept the other person’s feeling as VALID for the other person.
8. Restate the content of what the other person has expressed. Do not state it in an accusing or negative manner, but simply emphatic about understanding.
9. State “feelings” in regard to what you observed that made you feel a complaint was necessary. Be sure not to confuse feelings with opinions .
Feelings can be motivated by emotion and not intellect. Stand back and objectively review these things.
10. Take responsibility for your feelings. Don’t say, “you made me angry”.
Say, “I got angry” or I am angry.” If you FEEL something - take the responsibility and don’t lay blame on someone else.
11. Before you speak or respond, take a breath (your brain needs 50% more oxygen to serve you optimally). You will also give yourself a moment to calm down, and the oxygen to help you do so. Empower yourself by breathing. When we are excited we often hold our breath. We cut off our own oxygen supply, inhibiting our calm and intellectual reaction to a situation. Do not let your emotions be in charge. We have been given brains to think. Use your intellect and discuss all points of the conversation or conflict.
12. Reminder: Keep it brief, kind and honest. Verbal communication is the way we project love, hate, joy, sadness, and so other emotions. Without it we can't RELATE to one another.
I truly believe my husband and I have kept our marriage as lovers and best friends for 19 years because we have ALWAYS kept the communication open between us, and never belittled what the other is thinking. We discuss things (we don't ALWAYS agree) - but we are honest and don't hold it inside to ultimately implode.
Remember that a lack of good communication can cause breakups, divorces, and wars!
Take a breath, think before you speak and listen with sincerity.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Easter
I KNOW everyone doesn't celebrate Easter in the same way I do. I am Christian. Not a normal one, granted! I pray, read the Bible, and believe the conclusions I've come to about it all, what I consider my "own personal property."
I also respect the right of others to choose what they opt to believe. Let me be clear: Each man must choose! I respect and honor that premise.
I just want to share that, in writing this post, I am sharing what I believe with you as a gesture of public appreciation to God and His Son.
I hope that for those with similar beliefs, you will enjoy and love your Easter activities.
For those of you who do not agree with my celebration of the resurrection, I hope you steer clear of worshiping the money god and buying WAY TOO MUCH CANDY for your kiddos!
Sugar is awful for kids and the corporations LOVE the money all the easter bunny brings in to them. (Probably not the workers, but the CEO's for sure, eh?)
What ever you do, have a lovely day with those around you. If you are alone (and I think none of us are EVER truly alone) - revel in the still beautiful world around us. Enjoy the animals, the greenery and flowers of springtime, the very many things we usually don't have time to enjoy!
Take time, take a breath , relax and regenerate! And.....from me to you: blessings to you, and love from one fellow human being to another!
I also respect the right of others to choose what they opt to believe. Let me be clear: Each man must choose! I respect and honor that premise.
I just want to share that, in writing this post, I am sharing what I believe with you as a gesture of public appreciation to God and His Son.
I hope that for those with similar beliefs, you will enjoy and love your Easter activities.
For those of you who do not agree with my celebration of the resurrection, I hope you steer clear of worshiping the money god and buying WAY TOO MUCH CANDY for your kiddos!
Sugar is awful for kids and the corporations LOVE the money all the easter bunny brings in to them. (Probably not the workers, but the CEO's for sure, eh?)
What ever you do, have a lovely day with those around you. If you are alone (and I think none of us are EVER truly alone) - revel in the still beautiful world around us. Enjoy the animals, the greenery and flowers of springtime, the very many things we usually don't have time to enjoy!
Take time, take a breath , relax and regenerate! And.....from me to you: blessings to you, and love from one fellow human being to another!
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
A wonderful event
My husband had for months been quite negative about some important things. He had valid reasons to have concerns and 99% of the men I've known in my lifetime would have been right there with him - grumbling, unhappy, and negative as hell!
But here is where my man differs from so many men. He decided to use his intellect and do something about it. He said, "I'm going to change my attitude about things. I can't do anything
about these things right now anyway, and I can't keep going down this path as it's damaging my position at work and my relationships there too. From now on, "It's all good."
He may have been kind of tricking his own brain when he started, but he'd made a choice that
since nothing could be done to change these things right now - he wasn't going to let himself turn into a grumpy, miserable kind of guy! GOOD FOR HIM!
Last night, after several weeks of training himself to get in the habit of thinking and saying,
"It's all good", he was relaxing in his recliner and he turned to get my attention.
"You know," he began, "since I've been saying that it's all good - things have gotten much better. I feel better, it's better at work, and it's all good!"
So there it is. Use your intellect, change your thinking and the words that exit your mouth, and change your life! It's all good! CREATE a wonderful day for yourself and those around you!
But here is where my man differs from so many men. He decided to use his intellect and do something about it. He said, "I'm going to change my attitude about things. I can't do anything
about these things right now anyway, and I can't keep going down this path as it's damaging my position at work and my relationships there too. From now on, "It's all good."
He may have been kind of tricking his own brain when he started, but he'd made a choice that
since nothing could be done to change these things right now - he wasn't going to let himself turn into a grumpy, miserable kind of guy! GOOD FOR HIM!
Last night, after several weeks of training himself to get in the habit of thinking and saying,
"It's all good", he was relaxing in his recliner and he turned to get my attention.
"You know," he began, "since I've been saying that it's all good - things have gotten much better. I feel better, it's better at work, and it's all good!"
So there it is. Use your intellect, change your thinking and the words that exit your mouth, and change your life! It's all good! CREATE a wonderful day for yourself and those around you!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Think about it
If you THINK you are miserable - you will be miserable.
If you THINK you are negative - you will be negative.
and so forth and so on.
"......as we thinketh, so shall we become"
People ask me why I am so happy and feel so good all the time. I KNOW a huge part of the the reason is because I have trained myself to THINK in those terms.
My response is usually: "I tried being miserable. It sucked, so I gave it up."
Try it. You'll like it! :)
If you THINK you are negative - you will be negative.
and so forth and so on.
"......as we thinketh, so shall we become"
People ask me why I am so happy and feel so good all the time. I KNOW a huge part of the the reason is because I have trained myself to THINK in those terms.
My response is usually: "I tried being miserable. It sucked, so I gave it up."
Try it. You'll like it! :)
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